omg i'm soo OCD...or not

We have all heard it. Someone saying something like I'm a little bit OCD or I'm soo anorexic, without having any idea what it really means. Those things are serious,crippling mental disorders. Liking to have things neat isn't OCD and skipping meals isn't anorexia. I'll give you some examples:

This is my fiancee Roxy. She may not look it, but she is anorexic. Today she's at a normal BMI, but not too long ago she weighed 96 lbs. She's come a long way in learning to live with this condition, but just like many other mental/emotional disorders it cannot be "cured". This is something she will live with for the rest of her life. 

 So what does this mean? Constantly hearing her talk about how fat she is? Nope, actually she rarely says anything about it.. it's not her searching for attention, or fishing for compliments . What it means is a daily struggle with things the rest of us take for granted. Imagine trying to get ready for a night out with your boyfriend/girlfriend and changing your shirt 4/5 times before you find one that doesn't make you cry. There have been far to many times I have found her in front of the bathroom mirror with silent tears streaming down her face. Imagine sitting down with a plate of your favorite food and having a panic attack before you can take a single bite. Or not being able to breathe when you shop for clothes and have to face the dreaded changing room. This is anorexia. It's not pretty. It's heartbreaking to live,it's heartbreaking to watch someone you love go through, and it kills people.

 I have never known a true OCD, so I'm not truly qualified to speak on that subject. SO, I'm going to send you to a fellow blogger who knows it firsthand, Ms Samantha Mawdlsey. Before I do though, I want to thank Sam for having the courage to open up about it. It takes a true warrior and she has my utmost respect  Now go learn something, I'll wait....................................

Sound like fun? Everybody has their little quirks, but OCD is on a whole 'nother level 

 "I'm SOOOO depressed today." That's probably the most common. It's said mostly by people who have no idea what clinical depression really is. Unfortunately I know this one firsthand. Real clinical depression is when you lose the abilty to find anything good, and it doesn't come and go. It is getting to the point where you fear living more than dying. I hope you never truly understand it 

 If someone you care about is suffering from something like this, get them help. You can't beat this shit alone. It will be hard... it breaks my heart watching Roxy suffer the way she does and not having the tools to help her... but if you love them help them

The last thing i want to talk about is phobias. I won't go into too much detail because this post would end up being 50,000 words long. I will say that many people have them and they can range from mild to crippling. They may not make much sense to you, and to be honest they often don't make much sense to the people suffering from them. Mine is needles. I know logically that they won't  really hurt me but even thinking about them creeps me out. Seeing a hypo makes me nauseous and actually getting a stick is a nightmare. My heart rate and blood pressure skyrocket ( I know this because a medic had me hooked up to a meter while he did a routine HIV draw) it becomes difficult to breathe and I have actually been known to pass out. Why do I mention it? because some people think it's funny to tease people about a phobia...IT IS NOT.  When I was in Afghanistan someone thought it would be funny to chase me with an IV needle. It wasn't so funny to him when he got me cornered and suddenly I had a 9mm in my hand. I wasn't trying to be a tough guy, in fact I was too panicked to even think about it. Don't do it. It's not a joke.